Throughout high school I had a huge interest in Computer Science. I took the most advanced class at my high school, I started a cyber security club and I did a big time internship at Northrop Grumman. So when I say I was really into it I mean really into it. Solving problems and writing code tickled my brain and whenever I would get on a roll my heart would start beating as if I were on some sort of high. As time went on though things that came along with it sort of clouded my vision and made me forget why I started and loved computer science so much. So, I lost interest and I started making videos. Again though, it was like a puzzle. Whenever I would piece a timeline together and it would flow it gave me that same sort rush that I had gotten from solving a math problem or make a program run the way I wanted.
Again, with time and lots of other factors that came along with graduating high school, moving to France and starting college, I started losing interest and motivation to make videos as I explained in “Motivation Downfall”. With that came a sudden interest in mixing music, which I realized would be a lot harder than I thought. Props to all the DJ’s out there. Then I started writing this blog and I thought maybe I could be a writer because I love it so much.
All of these ideas sparked from the chase of the original high I had obtained from computer science and the same that I had felt in other ways. But recently its been hard to find it. I don’t know what I want to do. My current major is Business Administration which I hoped to use in order to make it big in the media marketing and advertising industry. Unfortunately, the classes are not really tickling my fancy. They aren’t very challenging or very interesting I keep telling myself that everyone has to do things that they don’t like in order to get what they want in the end. But part of me is wondering to what extent I have to endure these classes. If the majority of the classes I’m taking are not interesting or challenging does that mean I’m doing the wrong major?
Yesterday, I had my first Statistics class. It was 6 hours long and I had been dreading it. But we spent all 6 hours working on problems our professor had set up on Excel. We had to solve the problems by programming excel with different equations, graphs and such. It was AMAZING. Though it wasn’t the same sort of programming I’ve done previously, I was programming again! I was challenged and I finally felt that rush I have been chasing for so long!
So happy to have found that feeling again, I wondered maybe if I had chosen a STEM major like computer science I would be enjoying and excelling in my studies more. Would I actually like school? Would I actually be challenged? Would I feel that rush more often?
I still don’t know what I should do. I’m not sure if I really want to go back to square 1 and move down to Bordeaux to go to engineering school. It was already so difficult to figure out everything moving to La Rochelle that I don’t know if it’s worth it. Also I’m in a funk with videos, but maybe when I get back into it I’ll realize that’s my real calling?
I don’t know if any of you are feeling the same way about school but let me know if you are. At least I’ll know I’m not alone and maybe we can help each other out. Also any advice would be much appreciated!