Stories and Tips: The Mysterious Roommate

Until now most of my roommates have been absolute GEMS. I mean seriously, we have become like a little family. We have pizza nights, we go out together, we grocery shop together, we have a log for taking out the trash and much more. It’s amazing. That is until one of my absolute favorite roommates went back home to England and we were left with an empty room that was soon to be filled by an unknown. It tends to happen a lot in our apartment because individual rooms are rented out and people usually stay anywhere from 2 months to years. It’s always a bummer when people leave but it’s kind of exciting to see who is to come next. Unfortunately this time, it did not go well.

Our new roommate moved in on the 4 of May. I just happened to be gone for the weekend so I wasn’t there to meet him but I figured I’d meet him right when I got home when I got back. I figured WRONG. When I got back I asked my other roommates about this mysterious new guy and most of them had still not met him. One said that they had seen him in passing and he said “hi” but that’s all. We were all a little bit concerned considering we were now living with someone that we all still hadn’t met. If I’m being honest I didn’t know what he looked like or what his name was for 5 days after he moved in. The 5’th day after he moved in was when shit went down.

He had moved in on a Saturday so it was now a Wednesday. Keep in mind I still had not met this guy. My roommates and I woke up and grabbed coffee like any normal day in the kitchen but it was odd, we heard talking in the living room. So, me being super curious about who the heck my new roommate was decided to go introduce myself. When I walked in the living room there were 3 dirty looking people smoking cigarettes (inside if I might add) and hanging out. I don’t mean to be rude by saying dirty but it really looked as if they hadn’t showered in weeks… I introduced myself but none of them were my roommate! Super weird. They left like 30 minutes later and that was that I figured that I would never see them again.

Well once again, I figured wrong! That night I was listening to music in my room really loud and working on some homework so I hadn’t heard people come in the apartment but when I went to grab some food I heard a bunch of people in the living room again! This time I peeked my head in and there weren’t just 3 people but there were 7! I hoped that one of them was my roommate because honestly if not that would have been weird, but I still didn’t know what he looked like so… I ended up just asking straight up, “Which of you is my roommate?” One of the guys raised his hand and I was like, “Oh well hello, nice to meet you.” Even though I was stretching the truth by saying it was nice to meet him because he invited his odd friends over to the house to party without asking us and were in the midst of hotboxing the house with cigarette smoke. But I wanted to be nice. After that odd encounter I went back to the kitchen to talk with my roommates about this wack situation and one of the friends followed me. On top of them being super loud, smelly and annoying that guy saw the AMAZING coffee cake that I had baked for my roommates and decided to start talking shit about it. Of course coffee cake has brown sugar and cinnamon on top so for a person that’s drunk and high I guess they might mistaken it for a burnt cake? At least he did and he wouldn’t shut up about it! All I could think was, you come into my house, disrupt the peace, stink up the house and now disrespect me and my cooking?! Nuh uh. I’m not cool with that. No respect.

That wasn’t all though. Turns out all of our new roommates buddies stayed the night! I woke up around 7:30 (when I usually do) and our “guests” were still listening to music, smoking cigarettes, coughing and talking super loud. That’s when my other roommates and I all decided we had to do something about this. Of course, we didn’t really want to be tattle tales but nothing was going to change if we simply tried to talk to him so we went directly to my landlady. I sent her a long message on what was going on and she texted me 10 minutes later asking if he was still at the apartment. I said that I wasn’t sure but I knew that his buddies were still here. I didn’t get a response to that message so I figured she was going to deal with if by sending him a message or something, but no.

10 minutes later I hear the front door slam open and people start yelling! It was my landlady and her husband. They were yelling at all of our roommates friends to get the hell out and stuff. It was terrifying! It sounded like a drug bust. I literally locked the door to my room and sat on my bed trying to make the least amount of noise possible to make it seem like I wasn’t home. Turns out one of my other roommates was home so he came and knocked on my door so he could hide as well. We hid in my room listening to what was going on and we hear my landlady’s husband go into our new roommates room and say, “Oh well you are here! Hello and GOODBYE.” We were like, DAYUMMM power move! And that was pretty much the end of the drama. My roommate and I decided to go to the gym because it was pretty uncomfortable at the apartment. When we were leaving my landlady and her husband were standing arms-crossed watching my new roommate and his friends clean the common areas of our apartment. It was crazy.

After our gym sesh, I got a text from my landlady saying that the new guy was gone and that she had taken his keys. That was that. It’s sad that the only memory that we had of him was the cigarette smoke that lingered in the apartment but it is what it is. Long live the new guy. 5/4/19 – 5/9/19…

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